Rules are rules! Image: Twitter''In fact, don't have sex at all. You don't know where they've been.''
A worried mum's hilarious list of rules for her teenage son's holiday to Magaluf has gone viral.
Finlay Brockie's tweet went viral after it revealed the thorough list of warnings his mum Lisa imposed before a lads trip to the Spanish party destination.
The strict rules included not getting a tattoo - unless it was on his bum - and not having unprotected sex because "you don't know where they've been".
Finlay, from Dunfermline, Fife shared screenshots of the hilarious messages, captioning it: "Ma maws rules fir maga."
Ma maws rules fir maga?????? pic.twitter.com/ZcLJTP9uHp
— Finlay Brockie (@FinlayBrockie1) July 2, 2019
Here they are:
"1. Don't drink before you get to the airport. If ur drunk they won't let you on the plane.
"Just remember the Eminem concert. We'll actually I don't suppose u can remember the Eminem airport.
"2. Don't take your passport out at night for ID. Over the last month or so you've lost two provisionals, three door keys, bank cards, money and a wallet. You can't be trusted.
"If you lose it they won't let you home, which wouldn't be that bad but you only have about a tenner spending money.
"3. Remember to eat. Don't judge the price of food by how many alcoholic drinks you could buy for the same."
Finlay assured her by replying: "I'll be sound mate."
Lisa then added: "4. If there's a boat party or even a pool party, you just stay away.
"Mind that time you accidentally walked into a pond and had to come home naked without a working phone."
Finlay replied: "Gid times".
Mum Lisa continued: "5. Don't get a tattoo or if u have to get one make sure it's on your bum so that when you're regretting it for the next 70 years it's not such an obvious daily reminder of when u were an 18 year old tw**.
"6. Don't have unprotected sex. A night of fun is not worth a lifetime of gonorrhea. In fact, don't have sex at all. You don't know where they've been.
"7. Don't phone me for a chat when u r drunk. I will only worry.
"Even if one of our favourite songs comes on, if it's three in the morning I don't need a call from you shouting 'You will love this song Lisa. Listen for the bass drop.'
"I also don't need video called in the early hours to speak to randoms.
"8. Look after each other and phone me if there are any problems. I'm trying to think who out of the group is the most sensible but I'm struggling.
"I love you more than life so have fun but come home safe."
